Confession

You know the saying "you don't appreciate something until it's gone"? Well, that's how I feel.

I miss running. I miss the lovely crisp fall days and sunshine and trails and roads. I miss short runs, long runs with Dad on the bike, the hills in the park, the sweet long run on half trail/half road at Round Valley, et cetera.

There, I said it. I never thought I would ever even consider missing something as awful, painful, and stomach-cramping as running, but now that it's gone, I want it back.I used to love the elliptical, but being forced to use it after ignoring it for 2 years sort of sucks. It's boring and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get a hard enough workout. I can get a good sweat, breathe a little harder, but really, it doesn't compare.

Sunday, I ran for the first time in a week. And yeah, my foot broke down after about 10 minutes. But seriously, the ten minutes were awesome.

I keep running tiny places, like from the elliptical to the locker room. Just to make sure I still can. I have a doctor appointment with a sports guy tomorrow, so hopefully I'll have answers, and an idea of when I can run again.

In the meantime, I'm getting psyched for 'cross this weekend, along with the sweet camping plan that a few of us on the team have- should be a good time!

I think that this has really been good for me, oddly enough. It's shown me how much I actually enjoy running and how much I would miss it if I never ran again. It was something I needed, it's given me a whole new perspective on my training as something I should love doing, not just as a necessity. It's something I haven't felt strongly about for a while, and it's nice to get this drive and desire back!

But seriously, my foot needs to be fixed now. I want out of the gym and onto the trails!!

Bad News/Good News

The bad news is that there's no way I'm going to be running the marathon this weekend. My foot still is nowhere near healed. Maybe if I'd taken more time off it, if I hadn't been racing 'cross as much, et cetera, but honestly, I don't think it would have been marathon ready either way. I went on a short run after the cross race on Sunday, and it felt awesome to be running outside... for the first ten minutes. Then, pain and a long walk home with the little sister (she was ower walking in the aprk I was running in.) So, no marathon for me. I was a little bummed, as I'd put in the 23 mile runs, figured out nutrition, done all of the right stuff, only to have it messed up at the last minute, but I'm trying to stay positive.

Since it wasn't a real race, more of a long training session for me, it's not like dad and I can't run (well, he'll bike) 26.2 miles once my ankle heals. It won't be as fun, but equally effective, I think. And having been training for it for so long has me in good endurance shape.

Of course, I'm mad that I wasted an entry fee, and mad that I won't have that definitive ending to my beginning of winter "off-season." I guess the last 'cross race and the Big Chill 5k December 12 (my ankle better be ok by then!) will be my end of season races.

Also on the bright side, I get to race in Long Island with the team all weekend instead- my foot isn't so bad that I can't race 'cross, I just can't do a ton of running. So if it's a run heavy course, I may be a bit slow. But I'll make it!

I raced at the Mercer Cup CX race this weekend. I was very unhappy when I realized that we were being lined up according to when we had registered, so I was literally the last person in line. Not my favorite place to start. There were about 40 Cat3/4 women, and a lot of them had already raced the course the day before and were more familiar with it, so I knew it would be hard to do well. I, on the other hand, had put in a 3 hour trainer ride instead- I have a sinus infection or something, and racing in the rain on Saturday seemed like a bad idea.

But Sunday was mid-60's and warm!! It was ridiculous November weather, and while I'd like a white Christmas, I'm stoked about the weather right now...except that I hadn't packed any shorts or tshirts, so I was stuck wearing my skinsuit halfway and tied around my waist with a sports bra to cool off after my race.

It was a very technical course, and I did better on it than I expected. I think if we'd had another lap, I would have done even better, because as always, I still had more in me after the race. Memo to self: learn how to go hard and finish with the tank on 'empty.' I always seem to end with more in me!! But anyway... fun, muddy, and starting in the back meant even though I passed a lot of people, I was still mid-pack by the end. Which is fine with me. I finished 20th, grabbing the last points, so it could have been much worse. And I'm getting a lot better at cornering and just going for it in the mud!

I had one great moment where one of my ex-boyfriends was standing in the holding area, getting ready to race, and he spotted me. The exchange, done in complete monotones, went as such:
"Hi Molly."
"Hey."
"Gonna catch her?" (points to the girl in front of me.)
"Yup." (I did.)

It was so wonderfully chill for a CX race exchange, since they normally consist of people screaming. Fabulous. I also saw another ex of mine (these were from back in my punk/alleycat fixed gear days) win his race, and since we parted on friendly terms, we actually hung out between races for a bit while I waited for dad to find me. It's awesome, reconnecting with old friends.

Dad has also decided that he wants to get in shape and race cross next year- he almost bought a 56 cm cross bike at the race, some guy was selling it for $800 and Dad wanted it. But he decided against it for one major reason: he wants to get in shape, and then next summer, go halfsies with me on a good cross bike that will fit both of us- we can both use a 50 cm frame, so it'll work. And obviously, we'll never be racing at the same time, so we can go to a race, one of us races, washes the bike, and the other goes! It's a brilliant plan, and I really hope he makes the effort to get in shape for it- Dad doing cross would be excellent. And there are quite a few 45+ men doing it, so he wouldn't be alone! Besides, he looks so stylin' in his RU CX jersey I got him.

Me and my foot are heading to a meeting, then the gym. I may hate the elliptical, but that thing has been pretty useful the past few days. At least I feel like I'm doing something run-related! I have a doctor appointment with the sports guy at the RU health center, so hopefully he'll have some insight. And if I'm not going to be able to run on it for a while, it's time to start working on dropping a couple pounds and logging some serious bike and swim hours. So, like I said, it's both good and bad news, but I'm trying to, as I've said before, "stay posi."

Team Photo Shoot!

We had our cross team photos today and they came out awesome so I had to share:

The crew.
(Mark, Charlie, me, Marcos, Eric, Pat, and Charlie)

We are the America's Next Top Model of 'cross

We look so collectively badass.

Lookin' tough.
Notice that we all have short brown hair (with the one blond exception in 2 of the shots. But luckily, I still look like an actual girl- thank you fitted skinsuit!!)

For more sweet pics, check out David Wilson's Flickr.

Back in the Saddle

This week has gone a bit better than last week. Then again, it would have been hard to not be better than last week.

My foot is feeling better but instead of running at all this week and risking it, I'm just aquajogging and using the elliptical machine. And when it was 65 and sunny on Monday, it was tough to get myself to stay out of my running shoes! But it's going well.

I made plans to race this weekend, next weekend (CX and marathon!), the weekend after, and the weekend after. A month of racing! It should be exciting, to say the least. But our team needs points from women, so I'm doing what I can.

Yesterday was a just ok swim session, 3400 meters with 15x100 as the main set, done a race pace. I wasn't feeling very fast, averaging 1:38s mostly, which isn't a huge improvement. It seems like I just don't see a ton of swim improvement, though I feel like I'm going to be a lot better in a race situation now.

On the bright side, today was Veteran's Day, so working from home instead of going into the office, which meant gym time this morning and making cross practice on time. Of course, it also meant trying to stay out of the fridge and keeping the TV off to get work done, and I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't quite get as much accomplished as I wanted to. Making progress though!

I think I've just been feeling very stalled in my life lately- school isn't a challenge, and my jobs don't exactly leave me thrilled, or with healthcare. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. Maybe it's just the change in seasons, and the fact that I have no A races at the moment. I need to snap out of it and find challenges elsewhere though- if classes aren't challenging, I should be reading on my own, and if work isn't challenging, I should be finding other things to do that will make up for that. I need to start freelancing again, it's been too long since that Triathlete mag article!

I am reading some books on web design on my own and checking out some books (pun intended) about library science while I consider library school. I want to teach, but I'm progressively more intrigued by the idea of being a librarian. However, with teaching comes coaching and summers off, so it's a toss up.

When I was at dinner with a friend the other night, we were talking and realized we've been feeling the same way about stuff lately- he's my age, fresh out of college and in serious debt, and we really relate when it comes to how we're both feeling about stuff. It was nice to know it's not just me, it's just my age!

Anyway, off to put ona skinsuit and head to CX!

Stupid Ankle, Stupid Week

So my sprained ankle and I have had a very boring week, hence the lack of posts.

We had viewing and funeral to deal with, which coincided with 2 complete rest days for me and my foot, which was still killing me. It's beena sad few days, and that's all I'll say about that.

By this morning, it felt better but I just did a weight set (skipping anything leg or foot related) and 45 minutes on the elliptical instead of running, which actually felt pretty solid. A 30 minute bike ride to and from tutoring ended a solid, if not minor, day of training. Tomorrow I'm taking mostly off and I have a big weekend ahead of me:

1. reading the sports nutrition textbook I got out of the library for article ideas
2. make scholarship list
3. wash and wax truck
4. change oil in the truck
5. fix headlight on truck (sensing a theme here?)
6. go to Rice's Flea Market with the little sister to get a jump on x-mas shopping
7. library!!!
8. Robbie and I are working on some pomegranate recipes for pom wonderful's contest. He's quite the amateur chef and we had some awesome (top secret!) ideas. I'm very excited about it, went to the Farmer's Market this morning and am bursting with energy about this...
   

I admit it: I'm a total Christmas freak. I love this time of year, and I'm not one of those people who hates when carols star playing in November. So yeah, Christmas shopping will start early this year! And yes, our apartment will be getting decorated. Soon.

In other news, I'm going to be racing 'cross a lot more. We just realized that to win overall in collegiate cross we have to have a lot of women's team points too. Since I'm the only female on the team with a cross bike, that's a lot of pressure! I'm sort of excited about it, but trying to not let the pressure get to me. This is my off season and my "fun" racing, and I want it to stay that way. Also, I'm not positive what's happening marathon-wise anymore. It's in 2 weeks, and I don't know if my ankle will be healed by then. It sucks. On the bright side, if I don't do the marathon, I'll be racing cross Saturday and Sunday. So it won't be time off, that's for sure!

It's been a long week and I just want my ankle to hurry up and get better...

Werd, but True.

Loving this pre-race picture of me!

Weird thing #1:
I am fairly certain my ankle is sprained, hence the foot pain. This is weird because I have absolutely no idea how it happened. It felt better when I took a couple days off running but 3 miles into my run yesterday I had to stop and limp-walk-run my way back home for another 3 miles, then could barely walk all night. Try chasing a 2 and 3 year old like that!
So I'm taking a couple days totally off- it's Robbie's Grandmother's services anyway, so we'll be back at his house, giving me a good amount of recoup time. Hopefully it fixes itself, because my health insurance bites.
Fingers Crossed!

Weird thing #2:
I was putting in my results to the Rutgers Cycling team and decided to check out the ECCC (Eastern Collegiate Cycling Conference) 'cross rankings.
Guess who managed to get ranked as #1 B Woman thus far?
You guessed it, yours truly.
Strange. I'm also 45th nationally for CX women's cat 4.
It's pretty sweet knowing I've gotten a lot of team points, and that I might be slightly more competent than I thought. I'm hoping to race more so I can upgrade and go to nationals, though that's pretty pipe-dream-ish. Still, Dad and I talked about it last night and we agree that with a little tweaking and a bit of practice, I could be pretty competitive at least in Cat 4, maybe even move up to Cat 3 eventually. We'll see. It depends on my ankle, of course, since my main issue is mounting and dismounting, which is a lot of leg twisting action that I can't work on at the moment.

Anyway, a couple more pictures:

Race start!

Ahh, finally, dry ground!

Lookin' cool, post-race.
(I was looking at my mom's camera and dad took this shot from the side,
hence my "off in the distance" pose)

OK, this is from Granogue, but I just found it and I really like it!

Week in Review

HPCX this weekend:

I've been a remiss blogger this week, with no excuse during the week, but a busy weekend...

When the week began, it was a slow start. And man, it was a long week! My knee has been bothering me on and off, just kind of a dull throbbing thing going in, so I've been taking it easier than normal. It's also been gross and rainy, so motivation has been seriously in short supply.

But still. Tuesday I rode in the rain and dark to Busch to swim class. I was tired, achy and not in the mood. Stuck it out for the whole set and felt better for it, though still not happy. Cyclocross practice was canceled yesterday but interval ride on the trainer went well. Thursday was more swimming and a 21.5 min 5k on the treadmill, so I was happy about that.

Friday I woke up and thought I fractured my foot, it hurt so freaking much. So, weight set and then I headed into NY, forsaking any other workouts in favor of...

BUYING A TRI BIKE! Went to SBR to get the Trek Equinox 7, WSD, in red. It's so cute! I didn't get to take it home with me, Blake is dropping it off and fitting it for me asap.

(So, more on that and pics to come).

Then, Saturday my foot still hurt, so I just helped set of the Highland Park Cyclocross course for Sunday's race (more work and running around than I realized!) and rode a practice lap. Nothing fancy. It was Halloween but Robbie had a project to do and I was with the team, so we just spent the night at his parents' house relaxing and watching TV. And eating halloween candy... a lot of it!

I also, at 12:01, dropped a lot of money on Nautica NYC Triathlon, racing as elite amateur, and I'm so stoked about it!

Sunday was the Cat and Kitten CX race in Jamesburg, and we had to be there super early and I was brining Dad's leafblower. It's industrial, so it was like pushing two lawnmowers... my quads were beat.

The race actually went well. I wasn't amazing, but I was competent. For the most part. I finished 13th out of 30-something women, and I was the first collegiate woman to finish, so our team will get some points. It was a fun course, very muddy, and a lot of powering through muddy but not muddy enough to run sections. (This photo was at the top of one hill, I almost made it to the top and had to dismount about 2 feet from it!)

I think spectating is almost more fun than racing, especially at this race, when the whole team had to be there. I got to see everyone I haven't seen in a long time, and it was cool getting to spend a lot of time with all of them. I miss those guys when it isn't road season!

Before the race, my parents and sister showed up just in time, Don gave me a serious pep talk, and I had another awkward encounter with someone I knew a looong time ago. It was a fun race though, and while I'm still not totally into 'cross like some of the team is, I definitely will be racing more in the future. After the marathon though! I woke up today sore and with a huge bruise on my shoulder from the bike, and my knee is bugging me a bit. So I'll try to take it easy today. I also lost my phone as we were breaking down after the race, so it's somewhere in the Jamesburg mud, which means this morning I have to sit through class and then run to the Verizon store and try to get a replacement, and then get over to the gym, then work. What a huge hassle.

This week may end up being an "easy week" for another much less fun reason. Robbie's Grandma passed away last night, and of course, my priority this week is being there for him and his family. He was really close to her, and I loved her- we spent a lot of time with the grandparents since they live so close to Robbie's parents. It's going to be very strange without her around, and we'll both miss her. It's November, of course, the month that I lost all 4 of my grandparents, and I'm getting a seriously depressing deja vu because of it, and it's bringing back a lot of those memories. It's also hard because we both work a ton and have classes and such, and we don't have jobs that have personal days- we don't work, we don't get paid, and we both can't afford a lot of days off. I'm just trying to be there for Robbie... it's almost our two year anniversary, and with the holiday season around the corner, it's just a really hard time to lose someone. Of course, there's never a good time, but you all know what I mean. So it's going to be a rough week, which means my blogging may be pretty spotty.

More cyclocross pictures and race stuff to come...

Longest Run Before Marathon = Done.

Got somewhere between 23 and 24 miles finally done yesterday- nice to know that until the marathon, I won't have to go that long again! It was actually a perfect day to be running- low 60's, leaves changing color, the Delaware Canal from Kingwood to New Hope was well-populated with a lot of cyclists and runners, which is always nice because it's fun to people watch with Dad. Who, once again, slogged through 24 miles on the bike in order to shuttle my water, sports drink and gels, as well as warmer clothes, and a bunch of other things that I desperately needed.

It went pretty well, felt good and strong. I was wearing my knee brace, which kinda sucked, but because of cyclocross and last weekend's race, I needed the support. It hurt a lot when I woke up in the middle of the night, but it was fine this morning. Still, I'm going to take it easy today, get some housecleaning and stuff done- we're woefully behind on stuff like scrubbing the bathtub.

But anyway, back to the run. We started late because of family stuff, and I was set for 3-3.5 hours of hell. It turned out pretty fun and felt good though. Legs moving quickly, even passing some casual cyclists. The only thing I hated was at the bathroom stop about 2 miles from finishing, Dad got into a conversation while waiting for me with a woman triathlete prepping for an Ironman. She kinda got on my nerves offering A LOT of unrequested advice. (I had written more, but after snapping out of my bad mood I decided it was a bit harsh.)

I know she meant well, it was just annoying, especially since we were trying to finish a run but she just kept talking. I get frustrated when people see me and assume I need advice or help because I'm young. I'm great when Don or my Dad or someone who KNOWS anything about me (this includes people who read my blog, you know everything about me!) gives me advice. But when you know nothing about me, it gets to me.

Yeesh.

OK, rant over, it was a fun last couple of miles, and when I finished and felt like my feet were on fire, I got to soak them in the chilly Delaware River. Of course, as I walked barefoot out of the woods from the river, I ran into a gorup of men. "How's the water?" one asked.

"Chilly." I replied.

"How far did you go?" (I was carrying my sneakers)

"24 miles."

"of swimming?!"

"No, running."

Afterwards, when I was wondering about why they thought I was swimming so far in the freezing water, my dad made an acute observation: I was running in short shorts and a sleeveless top that basically looked like an athletic tankini. In short, I looked like a triathlete.

Other than that, I watched GI Jane and Domino because I love them, for a hefty dose of badass girl power, and because I was feeling lame about my short hair and wanted to see women rockin' it. And rode 3 hours on the trainer on Saturday. Tame weekend all around though.

Trying to make my knee feel better and get a lot of CX practice in this week, since I'm racing on Sunday. Just happy to be done with the long run!

More 'Cross (last one, I promise!)

I was in a good mood from all of the positive feedback from my 'cross race, both pictures and post-race discussion. I had a sweet 'cross practice on Wednesday, just learning a lot more in terms of skills. My shoulder is killing me though!

I normally wouldn't cross over facebook to the blog, but these comments were begging to be shared:George: This looks like its straight out of bicycling magazine. sweet pic.

Ken: Now, you look determined....

Vlad: Ooooohhhhhhhh yeaaaa! Now that's a mug I would like to chug - Duff Man

Dan: I feel like most of the time when I comment on your pictures, or status, or anything, I end up writing - "badass
This will be no exception. That's so badass.

Adam: molly "eyes on the prize" hurford

(another picture of me grabbing the guy's wheel: Don replied, "YES! YES, MOLLY! YES! so proud.")

I love all of these people!!

Ahem... (Embarrassing Story to Follow)

This morning, I woke up bright and early at 6, ready and rarin' to go for Master Swim. Except for one little thing... the past two nights I've had horrible insanely realistic zombie nightmares, and the Halloween spirit has us discussing the concept of zombies on a very regular basis.

It was still really dark out, and embarrassing as it is to admit, I couldn't bring myself to leave the house. So I missed swim class. Of course, I'm still going to head there right after class, now that it's light out, but now that it's light out and I'm fully awake, I'm getting hit with just how silly it was for me to be freaked out about going outside in the dark.

And that's my little embarrassing story for today. It's dumb because now I have to make it up, and I'm in class feeling gross because I didn't get my swim in. Dammit!