I don't think I was this nervous for any of the triathlons or races I've done to date. But the first cycling race I've ever done is tomorrow, and I'm terrified. It's funny, I didn't think that I would be nervous, but for some reason, it's really getting to me.
Part of it, I think, is that I have to run home tonight to watch my little sister in a school play instead of going to the team dinner and relaxing there. I also have to bring my tire to my dad, who got me a new tube since I got a flat and had to patch the old one. So we'll be changing my tire in a school parking lot, going to dinner and the grocery store for some Cliff bars for tomorrow, going to a play, and then rushing the hour home to New Brunswick and trying to get some semblance of sleep for a few hours. It's going to be a really hectic weekend, I'm afraid.
I'm not worried about doing badly- if I do poorly, it's all experience for next time. I know I'm good at cycling, it's just learning the handling and racing techniques that I'm not so good with. And I'm not really scared of crashing. I guess I'm worried about doing really badly, or making really stupid mistakes. Or just not being at all prepared for it, not being able to handle cornering well enough, or not knowing how to do the final sprint, or staying in the front by accident and bonking. I don't know.
Either way, I need to calm down! My stomach is in knots, which sucks worse for me than a normal person. Stress sort of causes my IBS to get a lot worse, so I've been having terrible stomach aches the past couple of days. I didn't sleep very well last night either, so I'm worried about being completely exhausted tomorrow.
I think that I'm mostly nervous because I'm in front of people that actually know something about racing, a lot of whom I consider to be my friends at this point. Normally, in my other races, it's been my immediate family and Robbie, and they don't really care how well I do or can gauge how well I'm racing. I think I prefer it when there's no one I know watching me- just look to the Bosco's Buddies 10 K in November- it was just Dad and I and he only saw me pass by him once, and I ended up getting second in Women's overall!
On the bright side, I don't have to be scared about flukemen or zombies in the water, unlike my first triathlon nightmares!
I just need to shake off these jitters. Hopefully after this weekend, it'll be easier!
Race Report: RPI Tour de Troy 3/4
13 years ago
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1 comment:
your nervousness is bullshit, and here's why:
"not being at all prepared for it"
do you have shorts, a jersey, shoes, a helmet, and a bike? you're prepared
"not being able to handle cornering well enough"
having watched you corner: you'll be in the top 50% of handlers in your race
"not knowing how to do the final sprint"
i still don't
"or staying in the front by accident and bonking."
never be not-drafting. unless you're attacking or chasing an attack, of which you should be very conscious. racing is all about mental acuity.
molly, you'll be fine. better than fine. visualize great results. they will follow.
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